Thoughts & Observations

The Sometimes Trap of Self-Help

We often seek out self-help tools because we aren’t feeling the way that we want to – we feel sad when we want to feel happy, we feel heavy when we want to feel light, we feel anxiety when we want to feel confident, we feel weak when we want to feel strong, we feel jealous when we want to feel supportive, we feel angry when we want to feel calm.

We start out wanting to change for good reasons, maybe because we’re suffering or we feel that we’re causing others to suffer, or because we don’t think we’re experiencing life as fully as we could.

But sometimes when we get embroiled in the project of trying to change these things, we start to see ourselves as needing to be fixed, as beings that are starting with a deficit that needs to be made up for or as people who won’t truly be good until we embody all of the traits that we aspire to.

Our entire life can become so centered around fixing the aspects of ourselves that we think are harmful or bad that we forget how much good is already there.

Yes, focus on not lashing out in anger or on being supportive instead of jealous, but also spend time reminding yourself of what you already bring to the table.